Can these siblings get past a heated political discussion and stay in contact?
: I have one living brother, and we always have had a good relationship, although not a very close one. He lives far away, but I see him almost every year with other family, and we have talked every three or four months and emailed more frequently.
About six months ago, we accidentally backed into a political discussion. While I have long known our views of the world were somewhat different, I discovered that he holds pretty extreme views contrary to mine. During this discussion, he made a personal comment about me that I found insulting, and I responded that I had been trying to keep our discussion from being personal.
Since then, I have received very little or no response to emails to the general family, and no response in recent months. Through reflection, I have decided to completely set aside the insult and the difference in our values and simply maintain the relationship that we had, but I apprehend that the feeling is not mutual.
Even more, you want to be honest with yourself about your relationship with your brother. What is the dynamic, and how has it been impacting you? You mention that he made a personal comment that was “insulting,” and yet I don’t sense that he has taken accountability for hurting you.
All you can do is explicitly share how you feel about him and the relationship while also asking for what you want and need. The rest is up to him … which brings us full circle. You can be open and honest, and yet, you still may not get what it is you are hoping for in return. You want to find ways to accept and grieve what you may not get while also taking care of yourself through nurturing other forms of connection and community.
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