She thinks her friend — who has never been in a relationship — gives overly critical relationship advice.
: I am in my mid-30s and am dating to find my forever person. I have been in several long-term relationships and lots of casual ones. At this point, I know what I want in a partner. I have been seeing someone for about three months who I feel has real promise and am excited about the relationship.
Since my last relationship, I have made friends with a group of single ladies whom I now consider good friends. One of these friends has never been in a committed relationship, yet she fairly regularly provides unsolicited commentary and critiques about my relationships. . Given that she has never been in a committed relationship and has spent minimal time around any of the people I have dated, I don’t really value her opinions. The problem is, I don’t mind the advice or comments from the other friends in the group, because I think they are more grounded in experience and tailored to me. I have not confronted her about her comments because I can’t think of a way to say it that isn’t offensive.
First, you say the advice from your other friends is “grounded” and “tailored” to you. It makes me wonder if they only tell you what you want to hear? Does this friend whose “opinions you don’t value” not say what you want to hear? If you don’t like her adviceshe challenges your choices, it could mean you struggle to tolerate a difference in opinions more than her actual opinion being the issue.
Or, you have such differing worldviews that her comments make you feel unsupported. As you say, she is probably giving you feedback fromperspective . So next time she jumps to “critiquing” you, you could say, “I know you mean well, but I have had enough experience to know myself. I don’t see it that way, and right now, it’s important for me to trust my own gut on this.
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