A Personal Perspective: Halloween celebrates the fun of scariness, but most fear is not fun.
The author has had to learn new ways of dealing with the fear that haunts her.Life is scary. I write this on Halloween, the day of the year when we revel in the celebration of scariness.
In my own ordinary, mostly peaceful life, I’ve been haunted by fear—fear of the everyday stuff listed above illness, death, loss, abandonment. I’ve always thought the cause of my fear was lingering trauma from a difficultOver the years, I’ve dealt with my fear in three different ways. I’ve tried to suppress it using various means—my two favorite drugs of choice have been romance and sweets. I’ve told myself that I could control or prevent the things I was afraid of.
For example, the romantic partners I chose to feel safer from abandonment would threaten to abandon me. Eating chocolate just made me want to eat more chocolate, and then I had to deal with the effects of that. Telling myself I can control or prevent the things I’m afraid of is a bit better but still doesn’t totally work because, ultimately, it always becomes clear that I can’t control or prevent everything I’m afraid of. No one can.
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