Here's how the most successful couples build a foundation for a loving, supportive relationship—and how you can, too
arousal–without acting them out. This requires pausing and slowing down enough to uncover our deeper, more vulnerable feelings and needs–and then find the courage and skillful words to express them.When our need for connection and being understood are not met, we might notice an impulse to attack our partner or retreat to the television or computer. It’s very helpful to develop the capacity to soothe ourselves when we’re feeling, angry, or hurt.
The capacity to love and be loved is nurtured as we find our way toward soothing ourselves. For some,, yoga, or tai chi are helpful practices for staying resourced. For others, journaling, artwork, running, working out at the gym, or being with animals is soothing and self-regulating. Or we can remember to just take a deep breath as we notice ourselves getting triggered.
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