Subscriber Only: Fintan O’Toole: 15 steps to help England climb down over Brexit

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Fintan O’Toole: 15 steps to help England climb down over Brexit

“Two World Wars and two World Cups”: Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce and Gareth Southgate will be allowed to retake their penalties until they score. Photograph: Ross Kinnaird/Allsport/Getty

Did you ever see a cat stuck up a tree? It desperately wants to get down, but when a kindly human climbs up to rescue it, it hisses and claws. Even cats can’t bear to lose face. Brexit is like this: England needs to climb down, but it can’t bear to lose face. The only solution is to offer England enough ways to declare victory. In return for forgetting about Brexit, the European Union and member states will offer the following concessions.

 

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