Seán Moncrieff: The day my daughter went into surgery is the day I failed her

When she was nine, Daughter Number Two developed a slight limp. She was brought to a doctor and then a consultant who revealed that she had one leg longer than the other. The official title for this is limb length discrepancy: and it’s more common than you might think. Most of us have small differences between the lengths of our arms and legs. But in Daughter Number Two’s case, it was going to require surgery: specifically, lengthening the shorter leg.

She was, understandably, a little apprehensive that morning, and the operating theatre didn’t help. She clung on to me when we saw it. A large room with low lighting and all sorts of high-tech equipment arranged around the walls. In the centre, a huge, complicated-looking bed surrounded by lights that loomed ominously over it. It looked like a science-fiction torture chamber.

The anaesthetist didn’t seem to be deliberately shouting. It was just that her normal speaking voice was unnaturally loud and her manner gruff. She glanced at a chart, mispronounced daughter Number Two’s name and then proceeded to yell at her that there was nothing to worry about, that she had done this many times before and always made sure everyone was calm.

But I didn’t. I just kept telling her that everything would be all right. I deferred to the medical professionals. Many times, I’ve gone over what I could have said or should have said. I could have looked around to see if anyone else there with a bit more sense might intervene. I could have told the anaesthetist to shut up: though getting into an argument with her would probably have increased my child’s agitation.

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Sean-Moncrieff

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