It's the ultimate taboo; the parents who regret having children. Amanda Cassidy speaks to those who, *whisper it* feel as if parenthood might have been a mistake.
She’s part of a small but significant proportion of mothers and fathers who wish that they’d never had children. Ciara* says she has an escape fantasy where she leaves and starts a new life abroad and never comes back. It might sound dramatic or anguishing, but in her words’: “It’s tedious, harrowing, and I’m always stressed. But the main thing is that I just don’t think I’m good at it. And that’s why I have this regret.”
In 2013, Isabella Dutton, a 57-year-old British mother of two grown children created controversy with apiece called: “The mother who says having these two children is the biggest regret of her life.”But in a world where being a mother is associated with softness, selflessness and sacrifice, challenging this explosive taboo means we can reframe motherhood along the way.
Don’t forget the children’s mental health – do they have friends, are they happy in themselves, confident? Maybe you should put them into drama class. Piano lessons? Are they being cyber bullied or left out of WhatsApp groups… Ciara* says that though she has help with her own mother and her partner, it’s “still too much for me. Even the breaks don’t help. I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this.”
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