‘I can’t live like this’: Desperate parents ask courts to protect them from aggressive adult children

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Judges say the housing crisis, drug addiction and mental health issues are contributing to rise in number of applications by parents and grandparents

District Court Judge Gerard Furlong says he has dealt with many parents, and grandparents, seeking orders, at Dolphin House. Photograph: Dara Mac Dónaill

Asking for a protection, rather than a barring, order, the woman said her daughter had suicidal ideation and she did not want her made homeless. “I absolutely love every bone in her body,” she said.Five ways Ireland can improve to stay ahead of the Six Nations packThey are just two examples of distressed parents seeking protection from adult children who have come before the emergency domestic violence court in Dolphin House, the redbrick Victorian building in Temple Bar in Dublin city centre.

The lockdowns during the Covid-19 pandemic may have contributed to mental health deterioration in some cases, he said.“Young people are cooped up in the house with the parents, they might have expected to be moving out, but they can’t, that gives rise to tensions and rows,” he said.

Interim barring orders require proof of an immediate risk to the applicant’s safety. Of 851 ex parte applications last year for interim barring orders, 354 were granted. While that was a small drop on the 867 interim barring order applications in 2022, more orders – 390 – were granted. Such orders last eight days. When returned to court, both sides are entitled to be heard and the order may be lifted or a barring order, for a maximum three years, may be granted.

He has dealt with many parents, and grandparents, seeking orders. “They think they are the only ones with a child like this, that is sad,” he said. Many parents seek a protection order, not an interim barring order, to give a “last chance” to their adult child, he said. He is very concerned about the impact on younger children in the home of witnessing this behaviour. “It becomes the new norm and you have a dysfunctional generation,” he said.

From a legal practitioner perspective, barrister Helena Kelly has seen applications for protection orders and interim barring orders increase in her six years in family law practice, including by parents against their adult children. “We have dealt with elderly parents, some in their 80s, seeking orders against adults in their 40s who have serious mental health issues, some combined with addiction,” said Women’s Aid services manager, Eavan Ward.

 

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