Friendships on the spectrum: ‘I managed to mask my way into the popular group, despite never feeling like I fitted there’

Friendships on the spectrum: ‘I managed to mask my way into the popular group, despite never feeling like I fitted there’'In the past people would have labelled autistic people as cold and unempathetic, maybe even disinterested in friendships and relationships'

“Growing up unaware of my autism, I managed to mask my way into the popular group, despite never feeling like I fitted there,” says Robyn Clarke, a neurodivergent and mental health advocate who is autistic with ADHD . “I was always the weird, loud and emotional one of the group. The one who craved to fit in more than anything, but just couldn’t shake the feeling of not belonging.”

Robyn Clarke: 'Now I’m true to myself and know that I’m not too much, too loud or too weird for the right people' “In the past people would have labelled autistic people as cold and unempathetic, maybe even disinterested in friendships and relationships,” says Keane. “Our understanding of different neurotypes and the way different neurotypes prefer to interact has changed this dramatically.”

Try to avoid making last-minute changes to plans, and if this has to happen, understand that your friend might not be able to follow through on itAdded to the potential confusion and nuance of communication, a nonautistic person might be unsure why their social cues are not being interpreted in the way they are intended and become frustrated by the interaction. As Dr Keane suggests, “none of this is conducive to establishing a friendship or lasting relationship.

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