A daughter is concerned about her retired father's excessive generosity, which is jeopardizing his financial stability. Despite financial counseling and budgeting, he continues to give away money, putting his own housing at risk. The daughter seeks advice on how to help her father without enabling his behavior.
DEAR ABBY: My father, who is retired, has always had a big heart and almost no regard for himself. Anytime he meets someone in a tough situation, he does whatever he can to make it easier, giving freely of his time and resources without asking for repayment.
This was a big problem when my parents were married because he kept giving away the grocery money or loaning our family car to people who didn’t return it, but at least he had an income back then. Now Dad is living on a fixed income and needs to be careful if he’s going to make it to the end of the month. Recently he shared that he’s been helping the family who lives upstairs, quietly giving them money for rent and groceries and once for a car repair. He has been paying his own expenses with a credit card that is now maxed out, and he can’t make rent. He doesn’t seem to understand that if he pays his neighbors’ rent, he will lose his OWN apartment. I can help him out this month, but I don’t know what to do for the long term. If I give him money, he will give it away. We made him a budget that he ignores. He’s been to financial counseling many times. It only helps until the next time he meets someone in need. He volunteers a lot at a homeless shelter, so he meets many people in need. I don’t want him to end up in the shelter too, but how do I help? -- HELPING THE HELPER IN MISSISSIPPI DEAR HELPING: If you have an attorney who understands elder law, contact that person and explain your fears about what is going on. Your father may need a conservatorship to ensure that his rent is paid and his necessities are covered. If you could fill that role, it would be ideal. If you cannot, then someone may have to be appointed. For the reasons you mentioned, your father should no longer be left to his own devices.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby atMiss Manners: A friend always insists on greeting me with a kiss on the lips ... ickAsking Eric: Sometimes we plan trips that don’t include one of our travel companionsBest of Asking Eric: My girlfriend redecorated my house while I was at work! I took my key back. If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our
Financial Issues Elderly Parents Generosity Conservatorship Family Relationships
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Russia is helping China to prepare for a potential invasion of Taiwan, London think tank saysAnalysis from the Royal United Services Institute in London says Russia is selling military equipment and technology to China that could help Beijing prepare for an airborne takeover of Taiwan. The authors of the analysis got around 800 pages of documents, including contracts and lists of equipment from a hacking group.
Read more »
Russia is helping China to prepare for potential invasion of Taiwan, think tank saysAnalysis from the Royal United Services Institute in London says Russia is selling military equipment and technology to China that could help Beijing prepare for an airborne takeover of Taiwan
Read more »
Russia is helping China to prepare for a potential invasion of Taiwan, defense institute saysRussia is selling military equipment and technology to China that could help Beijing prepare an airborne takeover of Taiwan, according to a UK-based defense forum.
Read more »
Philly’s federal workers face new shutdown worries as Trump threatens permanent layoffsFederal employees, including those in Philadelphia, are used to furloughs during government shutdowns. But now they may also see reductions in force.
Read more »
Can You Stop Your Eldest Daughter From *Being* An Eldest Daughter?Birth orders are fascinating, but how do we keep our eldest daughters from feeling all the pressure?
Read more »
Iran worries ahead of 'snapback' of UN nuclear sanctionsPeople in Iran increasingly find themselves priced out of the food they need to survive and worried about the future ahead of the reimposition of United Nations sanctions over its nuclear program. Iran’s rial currency already sits at a record low, increasing pressure on food prices and making daily life that much more challenging.
Read more »