The battle over the thermostat is making life chilly in our house

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Touching the thermostat in my home is a cardinal sin and guaranteed to bring an arctic wind inside the house

Father forgive me for I have sinned. I touched the house thermostat. In my household, that is a cardinal sin. Outside, snow covers my driveway. Frost skates over the windows leaving a lace pattern and I wrap my cardigan tighter around my shivering body. In my defence, I hesitated before I pressed the up arrow. My spouse’s obsession with maintaining a 21 C room temperature makes compliance difficult. On the plus side, I have a lovely collection of sweaters courtesy of his rigid rules.

Alberta winters drag on. They stretch from October to April at the very least, and the air is dry and cracks our skin. If you look closely, you might spot the face of the Virgin Mary etched into the sole of my foot. So my spouse constantly checks the house humidity with an electronic gadget he purchased.

“You’re destroying the house!” I cried when I discovered his makeshift solution was rusting the metal register and staining the carpet. “The walls already have watermarks from your habit of leaving the shower running endlessly.” Recently, a brutal double-digit cold snap made our windows weep. “We have too much humidity,” I said, mopping up the condensation melting on the windowsills. He brushed my concerns aside saying, “It’s only a temporary annoyance.” But I refuse to genuflect to the humidifier.

However, when the air conditioning emitted a deathly rattle and a bang, the gig was up. “The service repairman is overbooked,” hubby said. “Just keep the blinds closed and I’ll install a fan in the upstairs window during the night.”

 

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