It’s not the job of my column to delve into the details of his affair and resignation, or to get into the workplace power dynamic. What I’m interested in as a three-quarter lifer — one who turned 68 this week, making me the same age as the mayor — is that 37 years. The grandfather gap. Not because it’s commonplace; it isn’t, as the data will show. In my own life, too, I don’t know any men or women in relationships with people young enough to be their children or grandchildren.
I’ve spoken to a couple dozen people, ages 21 to 76, and one of the themes is that for women under 30, their frame of reference for an older man rarely goes beyond a 10-year gap. “Intellectually, my position is that whatever people want to do is fine.” I’m now talking to Alison, who at 37 is completing her PhD in clinical psychology at York University in Toronto.
“But if you factor that gatekeeper dynamic into a relationship with a much older man, I will also question the man’s motive,” said Alison. “I’d feel like a pawn in a man’s quest to feel young and powerful, to spread his seed. As a therapist, I would always be questioning power and balance in that kind of relationship.”Science Advances published a study
“I’m a no,” said my friend Heather, 64, when I asked her if she’d have sex with a man 37 years her junior. Heather is recently retired from a high-powered, international executive role, and has had the opportunity to date a considerably younger man, which she declined.
This is a really stupid take that ingores that Tory's situation involved a power imbalance which muddies consent and exploitation
Tory is a redundant old white male desperately trying to recapture youth and vitality, like a lot of old white males. What options do females have regarding the age gap?
Everything would have been fine if he hadn’t put that gun to her head.
Bill did not have to beg Monica. Few words, huge message.
He was married! I don’t give a crap how old he is. The cheating is what was wrong.
When he's having an affair with someone the same age as his kids that's how you know it's dead wrong
It takes 2 too tango, it’s been that way since the beginning!!!
Rich guys and young chicks is a long tradition I'm think now that the closet has been open more little chicks will walk out but they will likely have been put in high paying jobs. His wife can't trust him why would a city?
Isn’t the grandfather gap simply pedophilia for elders? Let’s not forget that he also was in a position of power over her. So she may have felt she had no choice. Now she is not innocent in this but she and Barb are not to blame for his actions. This was his conscious choice.
A quick look at Cathrin Bradbury explains her sour grapes on the age gap. People can be with whoever they want as long as they are consenting adults. Manipulation of the employer/employee relationship would have been better but that wouldn’t have gotten as many clicks.
It’s not just the age, it’s the power gap as well. This isn’t ok.
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE AGE GAP. He was her bloody boss! She could have been older than him and it would still have been all kinds of wrong.
What about Celine Dion and that old man she married. People were okay with that. David Foster and the new wife too.
I don't care about the age gap as long as everyone involved is an adult. What really bothers me is that he was her boss. When you have a relationship like this where there is a major imbalance of power it creates a lot of potential for abuse.
Oddly after reading some post I don't have an opinion either way well that's a first!!!!
Who gives a fuck. Let people do what they want if the are “consenting” adults. Everybody be in peoples shit these days
I don't give a damn about the age gap ,- it's the fact that she was an employee regardless of age which was the problem.
Tory didn't have to resign. There are so many politicians that have hidden spares. If he was a liberal he wouldn't of had to resign.
That’s not the issue ! The issue is taking advantage of your subordinates
At 31, her mom could have been 51 and her grandma could have been 71. So he should have been with her grandma!! THAT IS TOO BIG A GAP! pathetic patriarchy access2power poorJudgement
You should keep your opinion news to yourself
.. 40 yr age gap 🙄 & he cheated while in office w a JUNIOR staffer. But mostly he was an unfit, rigid, small town vibe mayor who thought he was governing a city, a quarter the size of Toronto. Essentially he thought he was the mayorship of Scarborough.
It is when it’s the boss and a staffer, any age gap is a BREACH!!! Ffs stop trying to justify it! Absolutely obscene
The age gap had the ick factor but the problem was she worked for him, travelled with him (on our dime) and possibly got a cushy job, that does not inspire trust
The age gap isn't the issue for most. It's the fact the he was her boss. Unless you were hired as a couple, there are many work places that don't allow co-workers to date, let alone a boss with a subordinate.
An office romance btwn boss and employee is too far. Age is immaterial. Gross JohnTory
The age gap is the least of it. He was her boss. It’s unethical to have relationships with your employees.
Not if she got what she wanted.
The issue isn't the age gap, it's the ethics gap. Tory was her boss. It's wrong.
Leonard Cohen had it right when it came to sex and men: you start off being “irresistible”, then later, “resistible” then in middle age,“invisible”, and later, just “disgusting”. Tory is at the disgusting stage Next scandal: Did Tory expense his Viagra to the City?
Age is not the issue. A sexual affair between a boss and a subordinate is wrong. You're welcome.
someones really down bad for john tory at the star
I mean I thought there was a difference but wow
what the hell, he's literally married AND her boss 😭
Not the point.
At 18 you can vote, do sex work, join the army and if you murder someone, you will be charged as an adult. How about we let adults of any age make their own decisions and have them take personal responsibility for their choices?
I don’t care about the affair. That’s between he and his wife. What I do care about is his decision to bulldoze encampments and close warming rooms. It show a total lack of humanity.
She isn’t the problem - Abuse of power IS
Corporate media's divide-and-conquer attempt to distract us from what matters.
Yes it is and very degrading to all women because society is pressuring women to undergo horrible plastic surgery to stay young. What it really comes down to is Love and how many men are truly unable to love their partners so they cheat? Real Love=no cheating!
The affair is the problem. Don't care about the age gap.
It’s a messy debate. Good luck.
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