Opinion | Science keeps smearing cats, but it’s barking up the wrong tree

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Opinion: When it comes to hypotheses and experiments, dogs are the Dwayne Johnson of the animal world: they can do no wrong.

In the last week, studies found dogs know when you are stressed. Dogs make us more sociable. Petting a dog has a therapeutic effect. It won’t be long until new studies find dogs can do your taxes and serve as designated drivers while providing sage job advice on the ride home from the party.I am not casting canine aspersions today. I want a dog. I’ve wanted one since I was a boy. My daughters want a dog. My wife does not want a dog. And since this house is not a democracy, she has veto power.

After losing our beloved Burmese cats in recent years — rest in peace, Satchel and Corduroy — my wife says we can get two more cats but no dog.But you know what? My wife should get into academic research because her feline fidelity might finally offset the ongoing smearing of cats. When it comes to hypotheses and experiments, dogs are the Dwayne Johnson of the animal world: they can do no wrong.According to science, dogs are loyal. Cats are aloof. Dogs are even smarter than we imagine.

It seems the cats in this study “would rather eat from a tray of easily available food rather than work out a simple puzzle to get their food.” This behaviour, according to the lead author, contradicts a body of research that shows “most species including birds, rodents, wolves, primates — even giraffes — prefer to work for their food.”Here’s where I’m confused. What cat wants to do a puzzle? Throw a mouse in there and I’m sure the cat’s hunting instincts will kick in.

So before I get my new kittens — or a puppy that can pull off a cat disguise — I am calling upon science to take a hard look in that two-way mirror. Yes, dogs are awesome. They are capable of incredible feats. There is a reason airports do not deploy bomb-sniffing iguanas.I don’t need to read a study about how a cat can recognize its name but might wilfully ignore me when I call out.And I’m not interested in research that finds dog owners are generally happier than cat owners.

When the girls were learning to walk, Cordy, as sturdy as a dump truck, would let them clutch his back as they stutter-stepped across the living room. He always seemed to be smiling. Near the end of her life, now blind and often incontinent, Satchel never stopped purring like an idling race car as she navigated the only house she had known with steely confidence.Cats aren’t to be studied with dubious theories and goofy variables.

 

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