The first time I heard myself say out loud why I wasn’t sure that I wanted to have children was six months ago when I was 31 years old. I was at a work-related conference and I found myself talking to a complete stranger about my sister passing during the fifth month of her pregnancy.
After a lifetime of fighting the disease with medication and treatments ... she’d been advised not to attempt to bear a child because of the increased risk to her own life. Then, one afternoon during the fifth month of her pregnancy, her mother-in-law called me. “Your sister needs you,” she said. Over the next two weeks, I spent many nights at the hospital where she was admitted. The days were a blur of disappointment and fear as her kidneys grew weaker and her condition worsened, confusion as doctors and nurses came and went, and desperation as we waited and prayed.
Why does society tell us that having children and being mothers is what completes a woman’s life? Why don’t more people think about what they’re implying when they ask, “So when will you have children?” As if having children meant crossing over the finish line of some race I hadn’t known I’d signed up for.
While it took a lot of work, I’ve let go of the anger. Time brings both healing and perspective, and I now have the maturity to respect her choice ― one that she fully had the right to make for her life. I’m not bitter about the idea of motherhood; I’m just not sure it’s right for me.
Yeah it's kind of what mammals do. Get a grip are you really running out of things to whine about?
Thank you for this article. We shouldn’t explain to society why women choose to not have children. Men have that privilege of the privacy. They can express their choices without societal commentary.
And if her mother thought that way...
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