My Parents Expect Me To Take Care Of Them And I Don't Know What To Do About It

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Doris Lam is a Hong Kong-based freelance writer pursuing an English and Journalism degree at the University of Hong Kong. Follow her on Instagram @lamgrams

In a Chinese society where tiger parents are the norm, children from a young age are pushed to become the best of the best by attending kindergarten prep schools that include supplemental curriculum not found at other schools, such as English accent “correction” classes, after-school tutorial centers and other extracurricular activities.

Although I see now they only wanted the best for me, and I appreciate them investing so much money and time into my growth and potentialmy teenage self was filled with stress and, frankly, resentment and anger directed at my parents for the high expectations and the lack of freedom I had for my own life — from my parents banning all sleepovers to turning down my pleas to study art in high school, and forcing me to break up with boyfriends to focus on my studies.

I was devastated, yet not too surprised. At 16, I had become the thing they dreaded the most: a problematic, academically “ungifted” daughter who failed school. Now that I’m older, I’m finally gaining more independence with my life and I’m grateful for all the opportunities my parents were able to create for me and the times they looked out for me. Without them pushing me when I was younger, I know I wouldn’t have the discipline or motivation to work towards my personal goals of becoming a writer.However, a new expectation regarding money has weaved itself into the undertones of our conversations: to have enough to support my soon-to-be-retired parents.

It’s almost to the point where I feel ashamed for even wanting to buy something— let alone actually purchasing the item— knowing that my mom would eventually spot it and ask with her eyes narrowed suspiciously, “How much did you spend on it?” and that in our minds, we’re both thinking how the $10 or $20 could have been used for family expenses instead of buying a new blouse from Zara.

Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)

Huffpost-Personal Chinese Culture

 

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