How to stay married - Macleans.ca

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Marital longevity requires wives to establish strong, separate identities from their husbands—white wine and yoga also feature predominantly. (From the archive)

Cynthia is a 68-year-old woman in a 45-year “committed marriage” who has figured out how to keep it that way. Every other month or so she goes out to lunch with her college boyfriend Thomas, who is also married and has no intention of leaving his wife. Usually their outings end in a hot and heavy “petting session” in his Mercedes. Sometimes, he rubs Jean Naté lotion, the scent Cynthia wore in college, onto her legs and compliments her beautiful feet.

Krasnow paints a rosy picture of what a long-lasting marriage can provide women—better health, a rich shared history, the comfort of having someone who has your back, and personal and economic stability amid global uncertainty. Many of her testimonials suggest marriages can be regenerated over time, like a liver, with longer-married couples reporting the greatest happiness of all.

The directive that couples should give each other “space” for marriages to thrive is far from new, of course. Krasnow quotes from Kahlil Gibran’s, “Let there be space in your togetherness,” published in 1923. In 1929, Virginia Woolf famously wrote of the need for women to have “money and a room of one’s own” to create art.

Yet the book reflects a broad view that sexual secrecy in marriage is rampant, from a woman buoyed by the memory of a furtive kiss with a neighbour to long-term sexual liaisons. , agrees unrealistic expectations usually fuel adultery. “The affair is always about what’s missing from a marriage. I have rarely heard a woman speak of her lover being similar to her husband.”

 

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What is this 1950?

Ahhhhh, a Liberal poll of Liberals living in a sh*thole Liberal Eastern city. Real people do not live like “No Morals Please, We’re Liberal” condo crunch lunch TO idiots. U are so blindered in ur...by ur urban Liberal sh*t culture that u don’t even know that. Sad. cdnpoli

Marriage = wife + husband. Oh so hetero .... Can't you be a bit more inclusive? Gay marriage has been legal for a number of years in Canada... Where have you been?

This is soooooo true.

Don’t be like so many Muslim women, totally sub servant to their husbands. Hopefully have work experience. Marriage is a slippery slope. There is no knight in shining armour that is an illusion.

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