Hospitals. Home care. Long-term care. One woman’s struggle to help 3 aging relatives in Ontario’s broken system

How do you want to spend the final years of your life? This is the focus of, an ongoing series the Star is producing in collaboration with Toronto Metropolitan University and the National Institute on Ageing. It will challenge governments, institutions and individuals to reframe our later years as a time when older adults can flourish and contribute, instead of being left to face decline and dependency.

Decades later, a digital camera shot the photo of Kathy’s grandfather in bed. In the image, a green support pillow rests against the headboard on the side where Pamela once slept. It’s 2017 now and her dementia is advanced. Pamela lives in a Kitchener nursing home, although it took time and heartache to get there.

When Pamela was hospitalized for a stroke, staff said they weren’t equipped to handle patients with cognitive decline and pushed to send her home. Kathy pushed back. Her grandfather was so weak, she says, he couldn’t even bend over to pick up a blanket if it fell on the floor. “I believe Nana felt so estranged from herself … that she didn’t even know who to trust,” Kathy says. “She deeply believed she was waiting for her mother to come, and that we were stopping that from happening.”

In her late 70s, Mona started leaving dozens of little reminder notes all over her apartment, with the scribbled names of an actor, a phone number, or a dollar amount. That was the first sign. Always a great conversationalist, she started to making comments that had nothing to do with the discussion. She became confused over names. And, Kathy says, her housekeeping habits became odd.

Remember the ones that died alone due to Justin Trudeau and Doug Fords Covid mandates. I do... and will forever.

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