ASK ELLIE: Grandparents cut out of the family picture | SaltWire

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Q: My wife and I are a retired couple who’ve raised two successful, self-sufficient sons. Both are secure in their professions, homeowners paying their way ...

A: Your mental and emotional pain are immediately understandable, yet nothing about your one son’s demands for ending contact are explained by neither you nor him.

Your son and his wife apparently haven’t shared nor have you disclosed, their perceptions, attitudes, past resentments, etc. Example: Some grandparents also seek legal advice on learning their rights to access and family visits with their grandkids. But, if the legal approach is too combative, the goal of better family relations becomes harder to reach.

Whatever the negative trigger, you as elders can use your mature wisdom and compassion to let your teenage grandchildren feel loved – whether through the occasion cards, shared memory of activities together, interest in their projects, sports, etc.Feedback regarding the toxic mother-in-law : The wife can do this through her own personal volunteer work, plus with some degree of political activism on her own part. She can also contribute to those in need through meaningful donations, and through offering her own friendship to affected persons, etc.

 

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