Advice | She’s a great woman, but I’m not attracted to her. Can I make this work? Ask Ellie

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She’s a great woman, but I’m not attracted to her. Can I make this work? Ask Ellie

QI’m a divorced man who’s been seeing a lovely, caring woman for four months. I’ve been in a number of relationships since I’ve been single, which haven’t worked out for different reasons, mostly due to lack of compatibility.I’ve continued to work hard at the relationship because most of her other qualities are very attractive to me and I’m trying not to be superficial.

Of course, this isn’t something we can discuss and work on together and I’m worried that breaking up might ruin something potentially long-lasting.I agree fully that revealing your anxiety over lack of physical attraction to this woman isn’t a topic she’ll welcome. Clearly, your post-divorce dating choices are all trials, not serious intent. You know your personal interests but started relationships with people who don’t share them. At 60, you’re unlikely to want to give up on sex. Yet you’ve persisted dating this woman.

 

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No. Walk away and let some other man who finds her sexually attractive attempt to please her. If you persist re dating her, you are causing harm to yourself and to her unnecessarily. Why go through life spreading pain and hurt?

If you are still not attracted to her after 4 months of dating than definitely time to break it off. Not every date will lead to a long term relationship and that is okay. Wish her well and move on.

He should run like hell. Especially if she smells like 5 day old clam chowder.

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