Workplace gaslighting is far too common and most likely to impact employees with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence.
Workplace gaslighting — when employees are made to doubt their memory, perception, experiences, or judgment by manipulative bosses or colleagues — is particularly toxic for neurodivergent individuals.
Sadly, this form of psychological manipulation is ubiquitous. In a recent ADDitude poll, a staggering 91 percent of respondents said they’ve experienced gaslighting in the workplace. The effects of— being on the receiving end of shaming, yelling, excessive criticism, and other harmful behaviors — can be devastating and take years to undo.
“We live in a culture and society that acts like will make you stronger, toughen you up…that it will give you grit and make you become resilient. All of that is false,” said Jennifer Fraser, Ph. D., in her May 2026 webinarHere, find our takeaways from Dr. Fraser’s webinar on the intersection of workplace bullying and neurodivergence, and how to protect yourself from gaslighting. Gaslighters attempt to rewrite someone’s reality into a narrative that serves them.
They manipulate one into thinking that they’re too sensitive, in the wrong, and that they’re the problem — that their sense of reality is flawed. Anyone can be targeted by gaslighters, but neurodivergent employees may be most affected.
“This is a very serious issue for people who have neurodivergence,” Fraser said. “You have already grown up in an environment where have expected you to fit a model you don’t necessarily fit. You have been put into a position of thinking you are the one to blame for a long time. ”Gaslighters have one thing in common, according to Fraser: eroded affective empathy.
They objectify their targets and have a “game-like” fascination with putting them down. They also happen to have strong cognitive empathy.
“That means they can read you like a book,” Fraser said. “They know what makes you tick…and use that knowledge to harm you. ” One way to tell if a colleague is a gaslighter? See how they change the way they behave, speak, and act with different groups.
” If they treat you to relentless criticism, but turn around with a big smile and change how they act with a colleague who’s the same level as them or a leader, you should know right away you are dealing with someone manipulating,” Fraser said. If you’re experiencing workplace bullying or gaslighting, you may think that you’ve brought it upon yourself somehow. Avoid going down this road, Fraser advised.
“You are not bullied because of something about you,” Fraser said. “You are bullied because there is something very wrong with the person doing this kind of behavior. ” “You can’t fight bullying and gaslighting by looking within,” she added.
“You can absolutely fight it by training your brain to identify the abuser and gaslighter’s behavior and the way that leadership is complicit. ”Document incidents with pen and paper. There is power in numbers.
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