For a special ItsOver edition of MyTwoCents, CharlotteCowles speaks to attorney Laurie Israel, author of 'The Generous Prenup,' about why most prenups aren’t a solution to marital money disputes — and in fact, are usually the opposite
. “Most prenups are driven by the wealthier spouse, and that sets up an unequal power dynamic that is hard for any couple to recover from,” she says. “Plus, the vast majority of couples really don’t need prenups at all.”
When I started, I saw a lot of prenups that were overreaching, unfair, inflexible, and hurtful to the less-wealthy spouse. They would try to cut the less-wealthy spouse out of any potential benefit from a family business or inheritance that the wealthier spouse was going to get. I do think that a prenup that’s unfair, in a very broad sense, can precipitate divorce because the unfairness will grow over time and cause bitterness, especially for the more disadvantaged spouse. But of course, I don’t have statistics. Nobody has statistics for that, because divorces don’t necessarily reference prenups.
A lot of prenups also make it very easy for the wealthier spouse to get divorced, and very difficult for the less-wealthy spouse to do so. That’s bad for both parties. Even if you’re the wealthier one, do you want to feel like your spouse is with you because they’re trapped? That sets up another power imbalance. You want to organize your financial life in a way that’s fair, that gives both of you accountability.There’s often a gender dynamic.
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