We tend to see people and circumstances not as they are, but as we expect them to be. Here's why—and how to change that, by nireyal
, by past experiences.
There’s a well-known meme for this phenomenon. It’s known as the “b*tch-eating-crackers effect.” No matter what that person does, it can’t be good. “Look at Veronica over there; look at how she’s eating those crackers… what a b*tch!” Of course, Veronica is probably perfectly harmless, but still! Trapped priors exist because your perception of the world doesn’t start with a blank slate every time you open your eyes. Rather, perception is a process of organizing and interpreting incoming sensations. This process is heavily rooted in past experiences—patterns you’ve seen and mapped to what’s happening now.
Now, back to real life. For some years after I reached adulthood, my trapped prior perceptions of my parents created friction between us. It felt to me like every time I visited my parents, I became aEven though I was now independent, I’d get into dumb arguments with my parents just like I did when I was in high school. Why? There was no reason to argue about small differences of opinion. We were all adults.experiences with my parents were coloring my adult reality.
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