A runner who once avoided the sport learns that pace does not define belonging, confidence, or love for the finish line.
Growing up, I played basketball, softball, and lacrosse, even dabbled in fencing, but always stayed away from running. Other kids were faster than me, so I left running to them. When I moved to New York in my early 30s, I discovered the joy of a 5K, and started to lace up regularly.
A decade later, I’m still at it. By now I’ve run nearly 100 races, including five marathons. I work as an editor at the world’s best running magazine, and I cohost The Amazing Runner’s World Show with Runner-in-Chief Jeff Dengate. Yet some days I still feel like a fraud.As I look around my office, filled with runners who are faster than me, it’s hard not to compare myself with them. Some of my coworkers have been running since grade school. Some ran on college teams. Several have won races!And then, there’s me.I’m a back-of-the-pack runner. Party-pace runner, whose normal cruising speed is around 13 minutes per mile. My goal is to get faster, but I doubt I’ll ever make it to a winner’s podium.Yet nothing lights me up like talking about this sport I love so much. After speaking on a panel at the New York City Marathon last year, a runner approached me, saying she felt nervous about the race. It was my second time running it, so I talked her through the course to calm her nerves. Afterward, she messaged me to let me know she finished and had a great race. While I may not know everything about running the way some of my coworkers do, I’m learning it can be a good thing. I have a different perspective and connect to other party-pace runners and newbies who are just dipping their toes into running.So instead of comparing my pace with those of my coworkers, I’m learning to soak up all the information and inspiration I can from them. When I’m having a rough hill workout, I hear Jeff’s voice in my head, saying, “Hills pay the bills.” When my brain just doesn’t want to take another step, I think about our resident ultrarunner, Pat Heine-Holmberg, knowing he’s probably on a mountain somewhere, 50 miles into a 200-mile race, and I keep moving. When I have questions about what shoes I should try next, I pop over to Test Editor Amanda Furrer’s desk, and we talk about the latest shoe drops.And the conversation goes both ways. When any editor is gathering tips on running, they always ask me to weigh in. I realize that my coworkers aren’t just humoring me—they’ve always hyped me up and made me feel like I’m part of the team, no matter what pace I’m running.My point? Do what you love, even if you aren’t the best at it, and let the fear of being an impostor go. Working at Runner’s World has been the greatest job of my career, and it’s made me realize that it’s not about how fast you finish a race. As long as you love it and keep putting one foot in front of the other, you belong.I belong.
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