'You’re gonna feel ugly, and you’re gonna feel better. Even supermodels have an “ugly” year,' says Vogue writer Tom Rasmussen on the lessons learned from an episode of bad botox.
doctor in cash to knock out the wrinkles on my forehead. Two weeks later this botch-job would set in, and my flat mate would look at me with worry.I looked at my face in the mirror, my right eyelid drooped slightly and my forehead looked oddly like sliced cheese, I had done what only 85-year-old Upper East Side women are supposed to do and I’d botched my face.
For much of my life, I’ve been unable to put my finger on what exactly it feels like to feel ugly. But I’ve also noticed that I have been congratulated when I’m doing something to change my appearance toward a more accepted beauty standard.
I was reminded of these impossible decisions last month when a friend of mine took his second dose of. He messaged me the following: “Would you rather be thin and have vertigo, or fat and able to walk without wanting to pass out?” And it became an actual debate, one which on the surface sounds easy to answer in this world of self-love at any weight. But the toxic parts of us were forced into a spiral.“Ah, yes but there’s no guarantee you’d keep the weight off” he replied.
Just last week at a very chic gallery opening, I was telling the story of my backstreet botched Botox drama to a model and her very chic friend. And they both told me that it’s fine to have no answers, to go through the motions of the ugly-not-ugly roundabout because “everyone is ugly at twenty-eight.”
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