Men are just as responsible for pregnancies as we are, and if our bodies are to be regulated, so too should theirs.
When I was 24 years old I had an abortion. I was in love with my best friend, he was in love with drugs. I convinced him that I could handle our friends-with-benefits situation, because I knew he didn’t want anything more than that. It’s not what I wanted, but I was very good at loving the exact wrong man at that time in my life.
I got pregnant . He didn’t want a baby, but thanks to his strict Catholic upbringing he didn’t want me to have an abortion, either. I was in no position to care for a child, and in my heart of hearts I knew being tethered to this man for the rest of my life was abad idea. Turns out I didn’t need to explain this to him, because he stopped answering my calls. I saved the $200 I needed for the procedure and my sister took me to the clinic. I didn’t hear from him for years. We never spoke about it.
He didn’t have to find a clinic and have a consultation. He didn’t have to sit alone when the clinic worker told him the pregnancy test was indeed positive. He didn’t have to travel back to the clinic with his sister and take the valium they offered before the procedure.
Which one is it? Is it totally our responsibility and meant to be handled alone, by us, or do we all of a sudden have no right to make choices about what happens in our bodies? When we are talking about a pregnancy resulting from a heterosexual sexual experience, a woman cannot become pregnant unless a man ejaculates inside her. He has to be anparticipant in order for any of this to go down. Yet women have always been the bearers of the contraceptive burden — in most part thanks to the pill.largely because in clinical trials, they couldn’t handle the same side effects we experience every day.
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