Affairs don't have to just be physical
The first time Kelly met her colleague John , she was struck by his resemblance to a certain actor. . They got along famously, sharing inside jokes, bringing each other treats and becoming super close. He made her feel exciting *and* excited, they shared a sense of humour and he was hot. Meanu Meeves-hot. They cemented their work marriage at an intoxicated group outing that ended in some handsy dancing and huddled giggles over a sneaky cigarette.
So I can’t fantasize about someone else? Is that cheating? No. Having sexual fantasies about someone other than your partner is totally normal—physical attraction is biological, inevitable and hard to avoid. It may even bring new energy to your sexual relationship. Having close friends to whom you may be attracted is also common; chemistry isn’t solely physical, after all.
What can you do about it? Each relationship has boundaries, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous. Discussing it early in a relationship may sound like a mood killer, but Dolman recommends clear, open communication from the start. “Not only should you speak with your partner about your definition of an emotional affair at the beginning of a relationship, it’s wise to revisit these conversations every so often,” she says.
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