The most disturbing video game cosmetic is this Call of Duty Tamagotchi that feeds off your kills

Monitor a virtual version of a virtual pet while on the battlefield

Here’s how it’s described in the also fake Rothwynn press release, which — and this is beginning to hurt my brain — doubles as an actual Activision press release promoting the sale of the virtual item:

Utilizing the latest advancements in pixel-based monochromatic liquid crystal display technology, your Tomogunchi’s “home” is a durable watch, machine-crafted from the finest non-biodegradable plastic designed to provide you with the most immersive pet-based, combat-related experience ever seen. That said, it all has a rather... sinister air to it, from the gun pun in the name to the fact that you can change your Tomogunchi’s mood — and for certain pet varieties apparently even speed up its evolutionary growth — by killing people:

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