Why many women still shy away from telling people they used an egg donor to conceive.
rising to age 30. The number of eggs — and egg quality — decreases with age, thereby necessitating the need for donor eggs. But while IVF is certainly more discussed than in years past, many women shy away from sharing that they used donor eggs in the process, even as the practice has been quietly increasing in numbers. A substantial 12 percent of all IVF cycles in the U.S.
In the end, she only divulged that she bought donor eggs to her mother, who is “pretty open.” . As she sees it, stigmatization stems from gendered expectations. Women are expected to be perfect, including when it comes to reproductive abilities; they’re held to a particular standard in terms of how to embody parenthood. “In order for you to carry and to give birth, it has to be from you,” she reflects, noting that pressure to contribute both a genetic and gestational link.
Adoption often came up in these women’s conversations with family and friends as the preferred alternative to donor eggs, in part because it’s perceived as noble or altruistic, whereas some view certain fertility treatments as more indulgent or selfish. How do I casually bring up in conversation that I basically have no viable eggs?” says Nina. “Or the child I’m carrying is one I have no genetic link to?
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