One drink is never enough, and two is too much.
Last night I went out with some colleagues and drank both a sidecar and a pickleback. This morning my brain was a shriveled cucumber floating in a dead sea of brine. I picked a fight with my boyfriend over coffee. I can’t stop demolishing tiny bags of salt and vinegar chips. I am on struggle street, backspacing three sentences of this ridiculous blog post for every one that remains. Being irritable and 31, my booze tolerance has fizzled out.
Picture this: You’re at a bar on a school night. You’ve downed a glass of your favorite Riesling and you’re all chatty and charming. The stress of the workday is steadily melting. The dark, vibe-y space has you feeling like a cozy little bear cub in hibernation. Then the bartender approaches with the inevitable question: Do you want another glass? The truth is, you want another few sips. A cheeky little top off. A wee splash.
Ending your night after one, teetering on the precipice between having a great time and falling asleep, is like eating french fries without ketchup. Or dipping just a toe in the water at the beach. Or dreaming about your early retirement only to wake up deeply employed and also running late to a morning meeting . On nights that I choose to drink, one glass of alcohol is often a disappointment. I may as well have saved my liver the trouble and had a kombucha.
Consider this a plea, bars and restaurants, to pioneer the half menu: the wines, the cocktails, the frozen sangrias. I promise there is a whole untapped market of us halfie-hunters out there. It is the ideal amount for watching the sun set and imagining you might Frisbee your laptop off the balcony before moving to Italy. For fondling the stem of a condensing wine glass while breathlessly losing your shit over some banal office gossip.
Only of course there is a tomorrow. Once it arrives, you’ll roll over in bed. Tentatively open an eye. Chug a stiff glass of cold water. And be very grateful your second drink was only a halfer.
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