Twenty-five minutes of one-on-one time with my 8 year old was pure magic.
It was a Sunday morning, and my husband and I had played rock paper scissors to determine who got to do the solo drive with our 8-year-old to his. The other was sentenced to getting the other kids ready and out the door an hour later to meet us there. Well, I won. But I didn’t realize I had hit the lottery until a bit into the drive. At first, the win was just about getting the less hard task (mostly because it involvedgets a lot of it while her older three siblings are in school.
First, he actually told me about school: his seat, his classmates, and a million tiny details about his day. I started to ask him things about his classroom, his favorite activities, and recess. “You can ask me more things if you want,” he said, clearly appreciating the fullness of my attention and interest in all of his stuff. Then he talked about the game we were on our way to.
And as we got closer to our destination, he started asking me questions about my life and my job. He asked me what it’s like to be a mom and what my favorite things are about having four kids. And while I answered, he listened thoughtfully, so invested and interested in my answers. It was the most amazing and enjoyable conversation.A wave of guilt rushed over me as I realized how much we both needed this car ride. It had been way too long since we had solo time.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’ve decided that spending my energy feeling guilty does nothing, and planning extravagant one-on-one experiences is unrealistic — and not even necessarily what they actually want. Instead, I’m carving out little pockets of time where I can. I’m putting my phone down while we are sitting on the couch so I can ask thoughtful questions. I’ll take a quick walk around the block with just one, or take the long way home after gymnastics pickup.
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