Sweet little lies aren't uncommon in relationships—nor are not-so-sweet ones.
However, some deceptions are less benign, serving to save face or manipulate a partner.When we truly love someone, we often go to great lengths to protect and preserve that love. And sometimes, along the way, this means telling little white lies to the person we care about—ones that don’t necessarily serve to harm but rather to protect the peace., these lies aren’t the same as the everyday fibs we’re used to.
Another participant expressed how, in order to restore balance after an argument, they lied about crying: “I wanted to make him know that I was really upset about a rude comment. By telling him I cried, he felt more sorry.” These lies are less benevolent and serve to promote equity by maladaptive means.serve to protect face needs. Specifically, “face needs” refer to our need to feel respected, included, and liked.
Sometimes, partners may lie to avoid divulging information that the other desperately wants to know. One participant—after lying about the true nature of their secret—expressed that they “don’t feel it’s any of his business,” while another shared, “It’s private, and I wouldn’t tell him.”Some lies have more malicious purposes. These deceptions serve to give one partner an edge over the other to make the other feel bad or—more malevolently—to blatantly control their thoughts or actions.
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