If your Barq’s isn’t floating around in a hot pink flamingo this summer, reconsider every decision you’ve made up until this point.
Little buttons on the back of our iPhones to keep them steady in our grips. Transition lenses. Compostable straws made of hay. There are many inventions in this modern era that deserve our respect, adoration, and credit card numbers, but none are as utterly silly and wonderful as the inflatable flamingo drink holder. It’s literally full of hot air. And I’m 100 percent on board. I don’t even have a pool.
I’m obsessed with these things. I keep seeing them everywhere. Even at the BEACH, which is INSANE. The waves—are you crazy? I don’t need saltwater in my CANNED CUPCAKE CHARDONNAY. Still, I’d like to believe that somewhere on a distant island, someone is sending a long love letter rolled up into a can of Canada Dry via an inflatable flamingo drink holder.
This is the perfect invention in this bullshit digital age with no end in sight. It provides a service you didn’t know you needed while only really existing in order to be photographed. I love that. Like a lot of things in life, it’s ridiculous and hollow, but the second that bothers you, you’re dead. Embrace the frivolity! You know what problems I have? One: Getting thirsty when I’m in a giant body of water. PARCHED.
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