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Johnson's been spotted smooching Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans while filming Celine Song's new romcom. But frankly, I'm not convinced!This week, paparazzi caught Dakota Johnson and Pedro Pascal smooching on a New York City sidewalk. No, there’s nothing nefarious going on: The former is still engaged to Chris Martin and the latter is still engaged to me in my mind.
Last week, Johnson was photographed ripping cigs and, once again, making out with Evans on the sidewalk. Frankly, it hurts to see others living your dream. Especially when, forgive me but I’m not certain Johnson is all that capable of chemistry with anyone…except for maybe Ellen DeGeneresbut only in the most chaotic of confrontations kind of way.
Frankly, I’m not surprised by the apparent lack of enthusiasm. Lest you already forgot, Johnson’s performance in her last film,,” among many other very mean adjectives by critics. Granted, most of the backlash was justified—it was really bad. In fact, her acting—from annoyed to ever so slightly aggressive—throughout the
But hey, what do I know? I’m no thespian and I get it’s technically labor but if I were cast as the protagonist in a film in which I was tasked with kissing two heartthrobs a few times I’d probably be able to access a level of charisma I’m not usually acquainted with. Even still, I’ve seen thefranchise and…if you don’t have sellable sexual chemistry with Jamie Dornan, well, I’m of the mind you should try a sexless sci-fi thriller or something.
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