Six ways to let your partner’s words touch you.

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Six ways to let your partner’s words touch you.
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Mature intimacy is the ability to “feel, together.” Here are six practices for deeper listening.

Mature intimacy is "feeling, together." This means holding two parallel internal realities at the same time.Heartfelt listening requires letting your partner's words touch you.is when partners simultaneously hold two parallel, and different, internal realities. Embracing duality, especially in tense moments, is not easy. There are ways for partners toDeep listening and accepting influence constitute the other part of mature intimacy.

We call the act of accepting influence from our partner to “let it land” . The phrase is a principle of theatrical improvisation that applies perfectly to intimate relationships as well. LIL refers to the ability to let what your partner says “land” in your body. Being open to our partner’s feelings, especially if their feedback is constructive or hurtful, is not easily. With some practice, you too can learn to take in your partner’s world more easily.Before you’ll be able to really listen and be open, you must make sure that you’re grounded. Make sure that your basic needs are met and that you’re not emotionally flooded. Take deep breaths, recite a mantra, or engage in any other practice that grounds you.

These six practices will help you both enjoy mature intimacy, which is the promise and present of a loving relationship.The Upright Citizens Brigade Comedy Improvisation Manualis a clinical social worker and a licensed couple and family therapist based in Israel. He offers online individual, couple, and family therapy. Assael trains and lectures internationally about therapy, relationships and improvisation.

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