Two separate family situations are causing distress. The author's sister is angry that her son is not spending enough time with her son, who has autism. The author is also struggling with her brother's wife's increasingly volatile behavior, which includes anger outbursts and aggressive driving.
My sister expects me to make my son and his friends spend time with her son. Our sons are in their early twenties and used to spend a lot of time together when they were younger. Her son, whom I love very much, is on the autism spectrum and had some emotional regulation issues as a child and teenager. Now, as a young adult, he has much better control over these issues, but sadly, his peers have not fully recognized this and often exclude him.
Her anger has led to her texting me some unkind messages on more than one occasion. I do my best to encourage my son to include my nephew, but at his age, I feel it is not my place to force him to hang out with him. My sister is very angry with me and my son. Am I missing a solution? Is there more that I should be doing? Two and a half years ago, I made the difficult and dangerous decision to leave a 25-year abusive marriage. My younger brother came to my rescue. He and his wife accepted me into their home to have the safety and supposed love to start my life over again at the age of 63! Now that a couple of years have passed, a divorce and very small property settlement are completed, I’ve noticed a change in my sister-in-law. She tends to find issues with others and with me that are absolutely ridiculous, and anger comes out in tantrums and with road rage/aggressive driving. For example, she got into a fight at the local grocery store because someone was walking too slow to get a basket.I feel and hear the wrath! She is bipolar, has horrible mood swings, pretends to be happy and kind in front of my brother and then is extremely mean and cold when he’s not around. I don’t do confrontation! Been there and done that with my ex. When someone in this particular mindset begins this behavior, I shut down. There is nothing I could possibly say or do that would make it better. She has such conviction in her bad behavior, it’s always someone else’s fault. PTSD to the max for me! Each time she behaves this way, I relive horrible moments from my past two-plus decades of abuse. I’m currently on SSA only and don’t have the funds to secure my own place to live. Please help me resolve this crisis without losing my only brother
FAMILY DISPUTES AUTISM BIPOLAR DISORDER ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS MENTAL HEALTH
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