Review | In lipstick and five o’clock shadow, this activist is reshaping how we define gender

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Review | In lipstick and five o’clock shadow, this activist is reshaping how we define gender
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Review: In lipstick and five o’clock shadow, this activist is reshaping how we define gender

By Katharine Coldiron March 6 at 8:00 AM It’s no surprise that Jacob Tobia’s debut book, the memoir “Sissy,” has garnered blurbs from the likes of Billie Jean King, Monica Lewinsky and Alan Cumming. Tobia’s gay rights advocacy in college paved the way to an invitation to the White House and a spot on the Out Magazine 100 and Forbes 30 under 30 lists. A creator and host of the MSNBC series Queer 2.

And then Tobia lands in the same dorm with some of the most high-profile young men on campus: Duke basketball players. This seems like a recipe for confrontation, but the players are live-and-let-live types: Sharing dorm space with Tyler Thornton, Josh Hairston and Kyrie Irving created some awkward situations, Tobia writes, but the athletes were “nothing but kind to me — even when I was wearing heels, even when I had on lipstick.” So much for that minefield.

The author Jacob Tobia Amid the backhanded self-congratulation of that passage is a poignant realization of the special challenges that come with being a genderqueer activist. As a wise mentor tells Tobia during a coveted internship at the United Nations, “discrimination was going to be part of my reality, and I’d be better off if I could plan for it and make my own decision about how to maneuver.

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