A Personal Perspective: I wanted to believe that I had control over psychotic breaks until I acknowledged that psychosis is a medical illness like any other.
Having psychosis does not make you a bad person, nor the type of person who gets serious mental illness.Psychotic breaks, even though they are deemed mental versus physical, are not under our control and discretion. As a control freak for quite some time in my life, I have always been an overly responsible, serious person who is hard on myself. By believing I am in control of everything around me, I can make myself responsible for everything.
You have to give yourself credit that you are but one human being, and you are capable of having any type of mental illness like anyone else. I was so hard on myself about psychosis and my diagnosis of schizophrenia, like I was weak and a failure to all who knew me.
My years of mental illness have been a humbling experience, where I have learned to not be so much harder on myself and hold myself to an impossible standard, especially given the illness I have. The truth is, I really should not have to forgive myself for anything because having a medical condition is not my fault, but it does feel like it sometimes. That’s when I have to embrace that no one, including myself, has complete control and then let go of the past.
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