'The psychological effects of having ended human life still haunt me 20 years later.'
users below, though, it's not a nightmare...it's a reality. Whether they killed by accident, during a war, or even by choice, the fallout was intense and full of profound, long-term psychological repercussions. Read on to hear their stories and how taking a life affected their lives:"This is probably the most personal question I could ever answer.
"The list goes on. It's hard to drive because I get flashbacks, panic attacks...shaking, crying, nightmares of that night. They didn't deserve this. Their family doesn't deserve this. They were both beautiful people with potential, love, family, and life...and then it was over. And I did it. "There was absolutely no thought involved in shooting; it was simply conditioned reflexes. Though I became familiar with the adrenaline aspect, it was not something that I would like to become addicted to. As time went on and buddies were killed by the enemy, my attitude became more aggressive.
It turns out that he was lying in my lane — facedown — wearing a black sweatshirt against black pavement. "I think about the young men in the community where I took my victim's life and how hearing of my actions made murder an option for conflict resolution. I think of my son growing up in the same community where I committed this heinous crime. It is tough enough trying to become a man without your identity being attached to someone who took another human being's life.
Today, I am able to express my true feelings in any setting. This has become a great gift because allowing myself to be open and honest has allowed others to do the same with me.
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