Panicked Eric Adams Takes City Hall Employees Hostage

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Panicked Eric Adams Takes City Hall Employees Hostage
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NEW YORK—Erratically waving a pistol as he declared himself a mayor with nothing left to lose, a panicked Eric Adams took multiple hostages Thursday at New York City Hall, according to reports from inside the building.

” “Good, now everybody lie down in the center of the room, hands on your head. Do it slow! No sudden movements! You, in the red jacket, get up. You’re gonna go outside and tell them that for all these municipal employees to walk out of here in one piece, I need a helicopter with enough fuel to get me to the Turkish embassy. And…and a couple vegan pizzas too, the kind you can only find here in wonderful New York City.

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