'It's time to change the conversation around 'difficult' names.'
: ˈndʒeɪ me or 'njeɪ meɪ). It is a Gambian name conferred by my father, whose lyrical, West African accent rounds the vowels and punctuates the consonants into inertia. And yet, the syllables that tether my heritage to The Gambia seem strangely unable toto my American life. The name I carry with me looks for harbor in the mouths of colleagues — even friendly acquaintances — and sometimes gets lost.
I am sometimes in situations where my name is simply not spoken after weeks of interaction with an individual. As an actor, this happens in the rehearsal room and outside of it. I do not mean that people mispronounce my name. I’m talking about fellow actors, leaders of the creative team and crew members calling me “Hey” or not saying my name at all, after several weeks. It all begins simply enough.
Maybe it’s excusable to forget any name at first, but after a week, a few weeks, even a month, that excuse runs out. There is a moment in time when it is no longer the responsibility of a person to teach their name. The choice made by many not to learn my name renders me invisible. It seeds disappointment and erodes my normally jovial spirit. In these moments, my mind races with questions.
Beyond that, describing a name as “hard” is a general conclusion that dismisses responsibility for learning it at all. Saying “I’m not good with hard names” is wholly different than saying “This name is hard for me.” If a name is hard for one person, that doesn’t mean it’s hard for everyone. Each person’s phonological fluency is uniquely dependent on their life experience and what sounds are in their phonological inventory.
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