They may believe they're acting in the ghostee's best interests.
Ghosting is a form of rejection that many people believe reflects selfishness on the part of the ghoster.
The NYU authors believe that, as a form of rejection, ghosting has the unique quality of involving a “gap,” between both parties in figuring out what happened and why. If someone doesn’t tell you directly why they’re dropping you, or your ideas, you have no way of knowing. The “explanatory void” is one that you might fill with all sorts of speculation, most of it bad. This can include not only self-deprecatory thoughts but alsoat the ghoster.
In the first three of these studies, Park and Klein showed that ghostees do, in fact, underestimate the extent to which ghosters were trying to protect their feelings. Next, the researchers created a hypothetical ghosting situation assigning participants to one or the other of the two roles. In this study, participants were told to imagine themselves as ghoster or ghostee involved in a potential meet-up to discuss a mutual hobby.
In one particularly interesting twist, the research team created a scenario in which the ghoster was willing to provide actual help to the ghoster by offering useful advice. Because ghostees underestimated how much the ghoster cared about them, they were more likely to reject this opportunity than would be predicted by chance. Ghostees simply don’t trust the ghosters anymore.
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