Using negative labels can harm your relationship with your child. Better alternatives exist!
It's tempting to use negative labels about one's child when they are being uncooperative or unpleasant.No doubt about it, children can frustrate the heck out of their parents. If you are in a conflicted custody situation, then you can multiply that feeling of frustration by ten.
Example 2: Instead of thinking/saying “My child is lazy,” think/say “My child has a hard time getting started with tasks they don’t want to do.” The goal is not to lie to yourself or others about the issues you are having with your child. There is no need to think or say “I don’t care if my child spits on me” or “I don’t mind when my child leaves half-eaten sandwiches in their bedroom” or “It’s fine with me if my child doesn’t do their chores before playing.
Step 2: Describe the behavior you don’t like: “You are speaking very loudly and it is hurting my ears” or “You are looking at me like I am an idiot and it is distracting to me.”
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