Dear Care and Feeding: I don't know how to get my mother to accept my boundaries.
When my husband got home from work yesterday, he asked how the day had gone and I casually remarked that the baby had screamed all day. He asked if I had called his mother and when I said no, he said I should have—that she would really like to help us. So I finally told him the truth. He got angry and told me that I can’t complain about the baby crying all day if I’m not going to take any steps to try to help myself.
My mother, who’s 64 and lives two hours away, has been mentioning since before the baby was born that she could watch the kids to help defray daycare costs and allow them to stay at home more often. This is not an offer we want to accept for many reasons, but mostly because my mother has a very old-fashioned parenting style and is resistant to hearing about the need to update/change anything. She is also very flaky.
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