Dear Care and Feeding: I don’t want to have to grin and bear it until university.
I would like to acknowledge that this question is coming from a place of privilege—that there are so many others in unimaginably worse situations than mine, that my problem is pretty low-stakes. I’m 16, in grade 12, and identify as a lesbian. I’ve come out to four people: my parents, my 13-year-old sister, and a close friend. My sister and friend were incredibly kind, caring, and supportive—everything that I imagined that coming out would look like. My parents were a different story.
When I first came out to them, they didn’t believe me. They didn’t take seriously that I had figured out my sexuality—something that, in their opinion, should be discovered “organically.” But I didn’t want to wait until I left for university to finally feel confirmation of my sexuality, and I had questions about what I felt and didn’t feel, so I initially turned to the internet for answers.
At this point I am confident in my sexuality, but every time LGBTQ topics come up at the dinner table, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. And since I don’t feel like this when such topics come up with friends, I’m pretty sure the environment is the problem, not me. Being a lesbian is important to me, but it is not all I am. I need a way for my parents to see that, without fracturing the otherwise excellent relationship I have with them.
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