Miss Manners: These adult kids are asking us to send money for their parents’ 50th anniversary

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Miss Manners: These adult kids are asking us to send money for their parents’ 50th anniversary
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Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.

: I received the following from the grown children of a close friend. Is this the trend now, and is it proper?

“Also, we would love to give Mom and Dad a gift card that they can use to make their trip extra special. I will collect money and purchase the gift card; please make checks payable to if you would like to contribute.” The couple has a rather large wedding party, and I’m sure the attendants will all be dressed according to the bride’s preferred color scheme. But to ask the same of the guests seems pretentious. I feel it says, “I don’t trust that you won’t show up in a garish, distasteful outfit that will ruin the aesthetic perfection of my day.”

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