Miss Manners: She was the one with the bad meal, but I think I should get compensated

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Miss Manners: She was the one with the bad meal, but I think I should get compensated
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My friend got $100 because of a foreign object, and she was surprised I took half.

I love talking politics, but sometimes this ventures into the absurd — like the time eight people tried to debate me at once. It can also happen at very inopportune moments.Eight, or perhaps nine, people talking at once is a brawl, not a debate. In such a situation, Miss Manners would be looking for an exit from the room, not just the topic.

But your lighthearted tone — and your preference for the word “radical” over alternatives ranging from “traditional” to “progressive” — makes her wonder how we arrived at this point. The best way to discourage rudeness is to be polite oneself, which means using respect and restraint when disagreeing. And, sometimes, changing the subject.Before the pandemic, for many years, I had a party in the spring with up to 30 people.This spring, I plan to invite 10 to 12 people — those most likely to be following COVID-safe practices — and ask that they test before attending. If the weather cooperates, we can be outdoors, but I can’t rely on that.

What do I tell my regulars who don’t make the cut so that they don’t feel hurt? If any of them ask if I’m having the party, how should I respond?“No, I’m not still having that annual party. I stopped with the pandemic, and at this point don’t intend to restart.” Which, Miss Manners adds, is where your explanation needs to stop. Only if specifically asked about the new party can you look confused and say, “That? Oh, that’s not the same party.” Which it isn’t.

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