I want to tell them it’s not acceptable. My husband is inclined to let it slide.
Insulting someone politely is advanced etiquette — and, in any case, impossible to do with your proposed script. More importantly, your expectations are unrealistic.
Long-term guests who offer to help should properly be understood to mean that they will perform a simple errand or clear the table after dinner — not build a new deck, clean out the basement or paint the house. Miss Manners does not bar a truly dedicated guest from volunteering to do any of those, but it cannot be expected of them, nor suggested.A person I was once very close to, but who was not family, has died. I am struggling with whether I should go to the funeral or memorial service.
He and I had a major disagreement six years ago, and we never spoke again. This disagreement was known to his widow, who was also displeased with me. I would like to pay my respects, but I do not want my presence to disturb his widow. What should I do?Funerals are not the place to repair severed relationships — particularly, but not only, with the deceased. You can pay your respects by attending but staying in the background.
A condolence letter to the widow can express sadness, respect or, if this was your intent, regrets, without adding to the widow’s difficulty on an already trying day.I’m having a birthday party. I don’t want anyone to purchase presents; I want monetary gifts. How can I word that on the invitation?
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