Miss Manners: Is it appropriate to express condolences as soon as I learn of a death?

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Miss Manners: Is it appropriate to express condolences as soon as I learn of a death?
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Or should I wait until the obituary comes out?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is a first responder and usually lets me know when neighbors or acquaintances die. Sometimes I know before the rest of their family.

When is the appropriate time to express my condolences: as soon as I find out? GENTLE READER: You are not unique in this. And that is why Miss Manners believes that hearing the news from an acquaintance would not be ideal. Best to leave it to the professionals and family members most directly affected.

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