Miss Manners: A former friend said he believes my use of etiquette is merely performative

... my love of homemade gifts and handwritten letters were criticized as attempts to be unique and likable, not genuine acts of etiquette.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attempt to use proper etiquette in my daily life. I’m far from perfect, and mistakes happen, but I do try my hardest to be polite in all things.

I once asked him if we could stop at a store so I could purchase a cupcake as an apology for a director. My then-friend refused to take me, as I was “trying too hard to be liked.” I will admit that I do enjoy being known as a polite and charitable person, but I don’t know how to respond to an accusation of only using manners as a means to an end. Is that a thought I should even entertain?

It is no great insight to notice that etiquette is performative. There are formulas for words and gestures to convey intention and emotion. If you inconvenience someone, even inadvertently -- or justifiably, in your case with the missed rehearsal, as it involved illness -- you apologize as an acknowledgment of that person’s feelings. Accompanying this by a token present gives it extra charm. A handwritten letter shows appreciation for others’ efforts.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

njdotcom /  🏆 282. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Miss Manners: Am I really ‘trying too hard to be liked’?My ex-friend thinks my use of etiquette is performative.
Read more »

| Miss Manners: Is my use of proper etiquette ‘performative?’A friend told this letter writer that their proper etiquette is “performative.”
Read more »

Miss Manners: When people pass my desk they often ask, ‘How you doing?’ What is the right response?I have sometimes responded with “I am good, how are you?” but that seems to halt their progress past the desk.
Read more »

10 Celebrities You Forgot Are in The MCUThese 10 MCU celebrity cameos are easy to miss.
Read more »

Doing It The Hard Way's Overrated: 33 Tips To Make Cleaning Quick And EasyLazy shortcuts you don't want to miss out on.
Read more »

Southern Miss swarms Alcorn State in 40-14 season-opening winBilly Wiles threw for 267 yards and three touchdowns and Southern Mississippi was never threatened in a 40-14 season-opening win over Alcorn State.
Read more »