Strong emotions flood the ADHD brain and overwhelm teens’ still-developing coping skills. In the heat of the moment, they can’t effectively think about what is going on, make hard choices, or consider the consequences of their behavior.
“Emotional regulation is the biggest challenge for my teen! What helps to build this skill, when typical coping skills, like relaxation, deep breaths, taking a walk, are difficult to implement In the ‘tough moments?’” — Jean. Whether it’s angry outbursts, excessive worrying, or intense sadness, strong emotions flood the ADHD brain and overwhelm teens’ still-developing coping skills.
Teaching the executive functioning skills necessary for managing emotional upsets requires collaboration with your adolescent — and compassion for their struggles. It’s no fun for her to blow her top or worry herself sick. If she had the ability to make other choices, she probably would. But she can’t see alternatives in the moment. Practicing emotional regulation calls on several executive functioning skills simultaneously — impulse control, working memory, self-awareness, and judgment.
Institute a time-apart system: When either of you notices that things are heating up, call for a time-apart. Decide how long you will separate, where you will go, and when you will get back together to discuss things in a calmer state of mind. Give everyone a minimum of 30 minutes to do this because it takes at least 15 minutes for the brain and body to recalibrate.
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